Free Writing: Day 4

Today’s writing prompt is to write about writing. What do I love about it? What do I hate? Where do I struggle?

Here goes:

I love writing because it is a world in which I feel understood. When I am writing, I am initially writing to myself. I always understand exactly what I mean. It is my home turf, a place where I feel I belong and am always welcomed. It’s a canvas on which there is no wrong color to paint. Even if those words are ugly or selfish, they are what I feel at that moment and so no judging is appropriate. The attitude or emotion behind the words may be wrong, but the words themselves are honest and are not asking for anybody’s opinion. They are mine.

I love writing because it is the stage God provided for me as a young girl to express myself on when speaking my feelings were not allowed or were too scary to say aloud. I could write and vent and hide those words so nobody could see them. There was no scolding or chiding or ridiculing when I wrote. It was an outlet that was God’s way of letting me relieve the pressure of anger, frustration, fear, or even the overwhelming infatuation I had for a ninth-grade boy who didn’t know this seventh-grade girl thought he looked like a Greek god as his lanky figure floated to his locker each day.

I love writing because it gave me a sense of worth before I had time to learn Who Jesus is. My seventh-grade creative writing notebook always had an A+ along with a “Good job” or “excellent,” or “very imaginative,” or some other word of encouragement. In my world where I was daily reminded I didn’t fit in, writing was the one thing that made me feel special-that I could actually do something well.

I love writing because it is an opportunity for the wind of the Spirit to blow and a tune with colors that are uniquely mine grace the mind. I can show His workmanship by just being who He created me to be in Christ Jesus or out.

I love writing because it is a wonderful chance to be of help to somebody I may never meet or to someone I love or anyone who needs encouragement. It’s a chance to kiss a soul without their feeling violated. My dream is to write something that will scratch an itch that many have; to meet a need that God has chosen me to meet.

What do I not like about writing? That there are “higher ups” who have to use red pens to judge what I write. That there are rules for writing that I find confining and send me into hiding sometimes, most of the time. I gotta get over that if I am ever going to publish.

 I don’t like that the journey to publishing has to be so long and arduous and can, if I don’t fight it, suck the fun right out of writing.

 My struggles with writing? Feeling alone like nobody cares or has time to read what I have to write. It is their prerogative, I know, to read or not, but I struggle with feeling I should lighten up and know people are busy and don’t have or want time to read what I write. Writing has a way of revealing insecurities I have and lies I believe. Uncomfortable, but good for me—like spinach and exercise!

But I am thankful, though, for the gift of writing God has given me. It’s my friend that I neglect too often. I love it and pray God puts it in front of the eyes of people who would be encouraged, inspired, comforted, challenged, and moved to consider and love and know God better.