Dear Hurting Friend,
I know that the pain you feel right now seems like it will last forever. The shock has worn off and all of your emotional nerve endings seem twice as sensitive.
Do not despair. God is still there. Though you can’t see Him, know that He is touched with your suffering. Refuse to turn to anyone or anything else for what only He can give you. Don’t close yourself off from friends and family either. Solitude is the devil’s interrogation room where he hurls questions at you that you are too weak to answer right now. One word is all you need for now—one name, the Name: Jesus. It will send him running. He hates that name.
Don’t do anything rash, don’t make any important decisions while you are in this state of mind. You cannot be trusted to see clearly because you are feeling so deeply. Tread water for now.
Maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe you are disillusioned with someone who was supposed to be there but wasn’t. You may be boiling someone in the oil of your anger. You may just be sick and tired of yourself. No matter your cell block, allow the Lord to come sit with you in it.
Open your Bible and read it. It’s OK if you are too upset to believe it will do any good. Even if you have to read through eyes blurred by tears or through eyes slitted with anger, I dare you to READ! I cannot explain how it works, but it does. It has to do with positioning yourself in the presence of God. even when you are mad at Him, it’s a way of saying in the language of the heart, “I am here. Help me. I am not sure all You said in the light is true in this dark place, but I am willing to let you show me.” Sometimes it’s not the reading of the words that bring healing, but where the thoughts of those words lead. Give God a chance to show Himself to you. Don’t rush it either. Stay there until He blesses you. Sometimes you come away with an answer, sometimes with a resolve to not give up just yet, sometimes with the reminder that although the clouds may be blocking the sun, the sun in still there! Either way, it’s hope!
Another path of breadcrumbs that will lead you out of the valley is to sing. If your heart is too heavy to move your lips, let the song hitch a ride on the cadence of your breathing. Pick any God-song and sing it. Music has a way of reaching crevices in the heart that words alone cannot. I’ve been there. The memory of His love for me that my emotions try to tell me isn’t there comes flooding back. Sometimes the sweetness of it sizzling against my hot anger, sorrow, or frustration emits an aroma that takes me back to my first love. Yours too.
The point is this: reach out to God when everything in you wants to pull away. It’s a decision you have to make. In response, He will take your hand and your heart and lead you in the way everlasting. Bless His name!