How to Overcome Jealousy, Part 2

Yesterday I shared that overcoming jealousy can be a rather lengthy and painful process. One way to expedite victory is to humble yourself. This starts with calling jealousy what it is. It's not about how the object of your jealousy rubs what they have or what they are in your face. It's not that their personality is annoying and not that they need to grow up or tone it down. Even if all of that is true, it's not the real issue. The issue is that you resent their having the very thing you want. They possess something that is dear to your heart, and you can't stand it. That big lump of pride goes down hard, but it will make the rest of the surgery go much more smoothly.  So say it: Father, I am jealous that ___________ has _________and I don't. 

Next, ask God to reveal what you believe you're missing out on.  There is ALWAYS a core hunger crouched beneath a jealousy. It's never about the man and the ring or the status or education. For example, let's say you are jealous of a friend who has a good man while you aren't even dating anyone. You're not really jealous that she has a good man. You are jealous of the companionship, maybe the security, the intimacy, the validation, or the stability she has. This shows up your loneliness and insecurity. It may even highlight a feeling of rejection a lack of a man makes you feel. Not pretty, is it? No sense kicking yourself or wallowing in it. It is what it is, and the good news is you're working through it. 

Next, you must remember jealousy is a very irrational emotion. You know, like a two-year old pitching a fit because she wants cookies BEFORE carrots NOW! Jealousy wants what her friend has NOW. Never mind that you are not ready for a relationship or it is not God's timing. Your friend has it now, and you want it now too. 

Commercial break brought to you by Isaiah 55:8-9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

....and we're back.

I have discovered that one of the best cures for jealousy is perspective. I was so eaten up with jealousy back in the day that I couldn't hear the Father say, "Your turn will come." My friend's turn had come. Like a guest at a birthday party of a friend who hit the mother lode, I needed to remember this was her moment in the sun, not mine. 

Jealousy told me mine would never come. She's a liar, which brings me to the next cure: You know jealousy is lying when her lips are moving. Her breath smells like impatience, and her teeth are black with hopelessness. Always ask yourself, "Where is the lie?"  Ask the Father to help you sniff it out. It may take a minute, but He will. Ironically, you are most likely to find it hiding in the closet of a truth in God's Word. For example, Jeremiah:29:11 says, "I know the plans I have for you... to give you a hope and a future." This bright truth has its nemesis hiding in the closet where it's dark whispering, "You have a bleak future with no man." See what I mean? I trust you to make application for your own jealousy scenario if the man issue is not yours.  

The point is that jealousy can be defeated. My journey was a hard one because I had so many issues that needed to be cleared up before the surgery could be a success. I hope yours is not as arduous, but even if it is, it's worth it. The joy and perspective are like a life-giving transfusion. Your quality of life will increase massively,  and there will be spring in your step powered by life and that more abundantly.